A Very Long Engagement by Sébastien JaprisotGood morning! If I could be anything other than a reporter this is what I would be: + a concert pianist + a race car driver + a stunt double + a novelist + a veterinarian in a small town in Upstate NY + a rafting guide on the Tugaloo River in South Carolina + [...]
I lost my debit card last week on St. Pete Beach at about 2 a.m. Saturday. Assuming the card was gone forever and if found would result in $500 in Big Gulp and Marlboro purchases at 7-Eleven, I canceled it the next morning. However, when on Monday morning I got to work in Sarasota and [...]
Balls. I’ve been told I can’t post about “Lost.” As much as I want to rip into the show, Joe has informed me that in order to give an accurate critique of the tangent-tastic, scuzz opera I have to rent all the seasons on DVD. Apparently watching only 10 episodes doesn’t cut it for Siskel [...]
This was Joe’s Florida State beach towel that he had for 10 years.To call this towel a beach towel would be like calling Jonah Hill Chris Farley.No longer used for drying up after a shower, I think Joe used Towelie to slough off dead skin cells. (The fabric was the consistency of 80-grit sandpaper and couldn’t [...]
This is my landlord, Russell’s grandson Gaven. I set out to write a particular story for my Lance this morning, but as I was sitting on the balcony with the laptop, Kid popped out of the house and started shooting the bull. (Joe and I live in an above-garage apartment. Our balcony faces the landlord’s [...]
It’s 12:03 a.m. and I’m sitting in the dark under a blanket on my couch. I can’t sleep. The thought of this lost Bichon Frise in my neighborhood has been killing me for weeks.Where is this dog?Did someone steal him/her?Was he/she killed by a passing car?Did he/she run away with a maverick beagle in town?Is [...]
I just ate half of this monstrosity courtesy of The Kitchen in St. Pete. Here it lies in my stomach.
Distractions are everywhere. I woke up this morning first at 7:30 and then at 8:30. At 8:30 I shuffled to the kitchen. Made coffee. Made toast. Sat on the couch and opened this page. Two and half hours later I’ve accomplished nothing. Nothing. I blame MySpace, Facebook and random news stories about Broncos players diagnosed [...]
I took this picture at 8 a.m. this morning while I made a few phone calls before work. Joe perked up, saw the photo and said: “I sense a blog post coming on. Something that goes: ‘These are the men in my life sleeping while I do work. I hate them both. Seeing them like [...]
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