As I’m watching these men and their nasty, hairy moobs flash across network television, I can’t help but think of Janet Jackon’s nipple slippage five years ago.
(Yes, this milkweed is a man.)
Why is it I can watch a 20/20 special on moobs, ripe with images and videos of … MOOBS, and no one in the nation bats an eye. But Janet Jackson sticks a throwing star over her nip and gives America a 4-second peek of her bosom and suddenly we’re collectively distraught. Our children can’t sleep. Our dogs are having seizures. A nipple, they say, concealed by some sort of ninja weaponry, is not fit for network television. The (female) nipple is too racy for the Super Bowl, the wholesome/god-fearing event it is. The nipple is too taboo. Send out the skeez patrol. We’re sorry Ms. Jackson. You tipped the slut scale during the Halftime Show.
Don’t you know?
You can show 96% of your boobs, as long as your nipples are covered.
And if you’re a dude and you have MOOBS, you can show it all.
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PS. I understand the moobs thing is an actual “condition,” called gynecomastia. Newsweek ran a story on it last November.
Good point and I’ve often wondered that myself. Absolutely no difference except we women are suppose to conceal them in uncomforatable slings… what the hell. It’s believed a man named Otto TITzling was responsible for this lovely(not)invention. Read http://www.sportsbras.ca/bra_history.htm and you’ll find out that it was our own kind that decided we were in for a lifetime of punishment. What’s a little more exposed flesh,,,,how about we just start viewing it as such and not turn it into a sexual act. Somedays I wish I was part of a culture where it’s perfectly acceptable to walk around anyway I please. Perhaps in my next lifetime. Scary thought huh for anyone that knows me. LOL
HA! Good one mother. I love when you comment. You’re such a women’s libber. I thought this post might snap your bra straps.
I’m sorry, I know it’s probably a serious issue and I do feel bad for guys who have some sort of condition, but your post was still funny. 🙂
I believe my wife would simply say “TMI” and my best friend would comment on his general state of blindness from those pictures… I’m mostly speechless. Maybe the Bro from Seinfeld was just a few years ahead of its time. Institute that product as standard garb and you might see some changes in dress code requirements for all.
Word verification: Sleak. Which moobs are anything but.
Heeee!! Every now and then you gotta stick a teet on the Internet. I’m keeping my 12 readers on their toes! Next up: something lovey-dovey.
LOL! This post is pretty funny! The pictures are killing me =) If there’s really a medical condition that affects some men, then I know that’s horrible, but it is still pretty funny.
(Also, thank you for the comment).
thank you heid for helpin my dinner to stop in it's digestive path and reverse itself, lol
there's a large debate going on this on the world of facebook (my shameless addiction) regarding whether breast feeding pictures should be allowed to be posted or not…
it was featured on dr. phil, so that shit is gettin' serious! 😉
one man actually went as far as to take hundreds of pictures of his own nipples and *photostop* a nipple image of himself for his default…
men's nipples = acceptable
women's nipples = hide!?!
moral of story, if a man has moobs – well…actually i have no response… moobs are just gross…
and here here gail – i'm pretty sure you and my mother can move to your nudist/bra-less culture together 😉
nice post heid! <3
Very funny and very true.
Except, I studied that Scar-Jo photo for quite some time and I don’t believe 96% of her boobs are visible.
I completely agree! I am constantly offended by the barrage of moobs every time I watch Biggest Looser. That show should have an x rating for all the moobs they show.
Facebook comment from my beautiful pregnant friend Melanie:
“Excellent point, the double standard is ridiculous. However – I’m developing my own “moobs” right now, (mom boobs), and I’m not too eager to show them off to anyone but my husband. 🙂 I should be able to if I want to though, just like the men.”
Moobs are nast-ay.
I think men who have them should be forced to wear bras.
Heidi, how about you and I start up a moob brazier business? We’ll make them in camo print or something equally as hideous as flippin’ moobs.
Actually though, I don’t think I can even call them moobs — I’m going to call them Hoovers.
Moobs are nast-ay.
I think men who have them should be forced to wear bras.
Heidi, how about you and I start up a moob brazier business? We’ll make them in camo print or something equally as hideous as flippin’ moobs.
Actually though, I don’t think I can even call them moobs — I’m going to call them Hoovers.