As I’m watching these men and their nasty, hairy moobs flash across network television, I can’t help but think of Janet Jackon’s nipple slippage five years ago.
Why is it I can watch a 20/20 special on moobs, ripe with images and videos of … MOOBS, and no one in the nation bats an eye. But Janet Jackson sticks a throwing star over her nip and gives America a 4-second peek of her bosom and suddenly we’re collectively distraught. Our children can’t sleep. Our dogs are having seizures. A nipple, they say, concealed by some sort of ninja weaponry, is not fit for network television. The (female) nipple is too racy for the Super Bowl, the wholesome/god-fearing event it is. The nipple is too taboo. Send out the skeez patrol. We’re sorry Ms. Jackson. You tipped the slut scale during the Halftime Show.
And if you’re a dude and you have MOOBS, you can show it all.