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While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping

What I write after Joe and Henry go to bed

A little ditty about wedding songs

March 4, 2009 by heidi 14 Comments

Pageant DressesI had a wedding song before I met Joe.

It was a ditty by a girl on a guitar. Burned onto a mixed CD given to me by my old friend Sarah, whose imaginary cowboy this blog is named after.
I wasn’t even sure who sang the song, or what it was titled, until my friend Ricci and I listened to it on repeat one afternoon in my Sarasota cracker shack, and Ricci went home, Googled the lyrics and discovered it was by Rosie Thomas and that the title was Wedding Day.
So much for love
Guess I’ve been wrong
But it’s all right
Cuz I’m moving on
I’ve got my car all packed with cassette tapes
And sweaters and loose change and cheap cigarettes

The lyrics were neither romantic, nor bitter, somewhere in between Jewel and Alanis Morissette, which suited me just fine from 2005 to 2007. I was single then. Somewhere in between grounded and orbiting space. Working in a marble yard. Trying to write a novel. Living in a 1920s bungalow with exposed rafters and no air conditioning. No television. No wireless Internet. Just a black laptop computer that no longer held a charge, that was given to me by my best friend Ro in exchange for one roundtrip airplane ticket from Buffalo to Tampa.

It had been her computer when she was in college. My friend Troy called it my Carrie Bradshaw laptop. Having never seen Sex and the City, I had no idea Carrie Bradshaw had a laptop, much less the fact that it was, according to Troy, a big black one with loud keys. But I thought it was pretty rad that when I was single I owned a Sex and the City prop, a chic accessory for a girl from the sticks.

I’m gonna drive through the hills
With my hand out the window
And sing ’til I run out of words
I’m gonna stop at every truck stop
Make small talk with waiters and truck driving men
I’m gonna fall asleep in the back seat
With no one around but me and my friends
It’s gonna be so grand
It’s gonna be just like my wedding day

Ricci and I hung on every word of that song. Blasted it when we’d drive from my bungalow to the public pool to swim laps. Loved that we didn’t need boyfriends to have a wedding song. Loved that the lyrics evoked a sense of bliss some girls only experienced on their wedding days.

I’m gonna stop at every bar
and flirt with the cowboys in front of their girlfriends

Obviously, eventually, we got boyfriends.

Consequently, but not on purpose, we stopped listening to Wedding Day. It wasn’t that we were making egg souffle for our boyfriends while whistling Dixie. It’s just that in general, we spent a little less time together, a little less time driving to the pool to swim laps, a little less time pedaling our bikes, a little less time thinking this song would be our one and only wedding song.

I’ve had enough of love
It feels good to give up
So good to be good to myself
I’m gonna get on the highway with no destination
And plenty of vision in mind
And I’m gonna drive to the ocean
Go skinny dipping
Blow kisses to venus and mars

When Joe and I got engaged this fall, we didn’t start discussing wedding details until months after the Question Had Been Popped. When we got on the subject of wedding songs it seemed neither of us had any one song in mind, so I suggested Etta James’ At Last, not realizing Beyonce had recorded a version of it for her role in Cadillac Records, also not realizing the Obamas would dance to it five million times the night of the inauguration.
Recently, I interviewed Bobby Vinton, the 1960s crooner responsible for such wicked ballads as, Blue Velvet, Roses are Red (My Love), I Love How You Love Me, Mr. Lonely, and the 1970s Polish love polka, My Melody of Love.
I did my fair share of Internet research before meeting Vinton, downloading corky love songs my Nana probably loves, leaving Joe voice mail messages to the tune of Blue Velvet. The innocent schmaltz had kind of grown on me – and not in an ironic hipster way.
I started thinking: what kind of love song best describes me and Joe, the couple?
After I left my sunglasses at Bobby Vinton’s beach estate, I figured we had to go with a Vinton ballad. It lends itself to a good story and I’ll be damned if I pass up a good story, even if I have to dance to a Polish love polka on my wedding night. Besides, Joe digs the fact that Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco dance to Roses are Red in Goodfellas.
I’m gonna drive under skyline and sunshine
Drink good wine in vineyards
And get asked to dance
I’m gonna be carefree and let nothing pass me by
Never ever again

This song was my wedding song when I was single. It was appropriate. I could relate to it. I could belt it out in cars. I could be single to it.

What I need now is a song I can be married to.
—
PS. The picture was taken in the first two months of our relationship. We were staying at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale and we had just gotten out of bed. I remember thinking at the moment, I’m happy just watching this man put his contacts in.
PPS. For more on Rosie Thomas.

Filed Under: barack obama, Bobby Vinton, Etta James, favorite things, Joe, lovey doveyness, mushy anecdotes, Nana, Ricci, Ro, road trippin, Rosie Thomas, Sarah, Sarasota, sex and the city, swimming, wedding pomp

Comments

  1. Tabitha (From Single to Married) says

    March 5, 2009 at 7:14 am

    While I agree the Rosie Thomas song probably shouldn’t be the one for your big day, it still sounds like a cool song. 🙂

    It’s hard picking a wedding song. You don’t want something that everyone else has used and you want something unique to the two of you that has meaning.

    The CPA and I chose The Wedding Song by Andy Williams (http://www.last.fm/music/Andy+Williams/_/The+Hawaiian+Wedding+Song) for a few reasons. It fit with our reception music which was classics from the crooners (Dean, Frank, Billie, etc.). And he had grown up listening to Hawaiian music, as strange as that may sound. So it was special for him too. And the lyrics were very sweet.

    Anyway… all this to say good luck choosing your song. You’ll find something that’s perfect for the two of you.

  2. RicciMedia says

    March 5, 2009 at 8:17 am

    Wedding Day Song! That will ALWAYS send me straight back to the humid cottage and walking down Hawkins Court..! That seems like a movie now… And I see you’ve passed up At Last,eh? I’ll be on the lookout for a wedding song for you…

  3. RicciMedia says

    March 5, 2009 at 8:21 am

    ps: Have you considered Soulja Boy’s “Kiss Me Thru the Phone?”…I’m just saying…

  4. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com says

    March 5, 2009 at 10:36 am

    It’s hard to choose a wedding song, it really is. Donald and I were long-distance for the first year of our relationship and we sent each other alot of songs back and forth. It took us forever to decide which of those songs was the best one for a wedding.

    In the end, we picked “And I love you so,” (can’t remember the name of the guy who made it, Don something), and although it’s a great song, we haven’t played it since. So maybe it wasn’t the best song for us. Oh well!

  5. Robert says

    March 5, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Our wedding song was easy to pick: “Storybook Love”, the theme song from The Princess Bride. It was one of our favorite movies, and it described our courtship very well.

    Being single is not only overrated, it simply sucks. Welcome to the wonder of married life (soon enough). My wife and I have a lot of fun traveling together, playing games together, laughing together, debating each other, reading different books sitting in the same room… oh and raising our three wonderful kids. I wouldn’t trade it for any single day of single life. (strangely, I did not intend for this to sound like a rant, so I hope it doesn’t come off as one).

    We also played “Here’s to You, Mrs. Robinson” – or tried to, but someone (who shall remain unidentified) thought the dancing was over and turned it down – since that was fitting for my wedding. For my wife to dance with her Dad, we played “Butterfly Kisses” which is nice if you have that sort of relationship with a father. We also played a couple of others, but those were the important ones that came to mind.

    word verification: lablesor – how an employee at Wal-Mart feels after putting price tags on an entire pallet of individual items. (not as much fun today)

  6. Ro says

    March 5, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Pick a song that you sing to one another or that makes you think of something silly you have done. Tom and I are having this old Randy Travis song “I’m gonna love you forever” because we always try to find it on jukeboxes and then sing it drunkenly to each other in bars. It’s a bit fast and untraditional…my favorite part is “As long as old men sit and talk about the weather, as long as old women sit and talk about old men.”

    Can’t wait to see you dance to whatever you pick.

  7. C.Flower says

    March 5, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    OMG Ro. That’s one of my favorite country music lines in the long, sordid list of country music lines.

    Tabitha: Does the CPA look like Elvis in Blue Hawaii?

    Ricci: I think I’ll save Kiss me Through the Phone for 15-year-old girls who stay up at night talking to their crushes on phones shaped like lips.

    Sarah: I’m Googling your wedding song.

    Robert: You are out of control with the verification words! And why Mrs. Robinson? Is your wife 76 years old?

    PS. Joe has the Princess Bride memorized. He might go for Storybook Love, but I don’t want to copycat …

  8. The mothership says

    March 5, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    Give some thought to “Sugar Sugar” by the Archies 🙂 I can picture it. When I kissed you girl I knew how sweet a kiss could be. Like the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me. Gotta admit that song gets everyone smiling and doing that famous headbob thing.

  9. Robert says

    March 6, 2009 at 9:34 am

    Mrs. Robinson because, well, that’s our last name….

    And I’ll just break it to you: most of the great wedding songs are “copycats”. You just might be the first to copy ours. But the song plays in the closing credits, if you haven’t heard it. And most lovers of the movie have it memorized. The freakiest group I ever met was a bunch who could recite it BACKWARDS. That was too much.

  10. C.Flower says

    March 6, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    From my peanut gallery on Facebook:

    Andrew: everyone does “at last” , good song-great voice. don’t fall into the standard norm (dj playing that cheesy burlesque song while the groom takes off your garter

    Liz: Read the blog…how about Fly Me To The Moon by Sinatra? That was mine and Dan’s and I still love it. If you like At Last it’s got that same sort of classy happiness.

    And in an e-mail from old colleague, Kyle: Yo HK. I’ve just been catching up on your Lance. I didn’t read it for about two months. I’m not on the internet as much these days. Your entry on moobs was fascinating. I was disgusted yet I couldn’t pull my eyes away. Want to do lunch sometime soon?

  11. ModernMommy says

    March 7, 2009 at 10:05 am

    I’m sure you will find the wedding song that fits you both perfectly. This was such a cute post and like NO sarcasm!

  12. C.Flower says

    March 7, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    Thanks, Jill. I like to mix it up every now and then. Work in some cute shit, some MOOB shit, some Lent shit …

  13. john says

    March 14, 2009 at 5:46 am

    Defensive Driving Florida offers Florida online defensive driving courses.

  14. C.Flower says

    March 14, 2009 at 6:35 am

    John!
    You come by my Lance and read a heartfelt post about wedding songs and Bobby Vinton, and leave me with a link to a defensive driving course?

    My man, if you want to drum up Internet business, I suggest you visit grandma blogs. Just because I blog about my grandparents doesn’t mean I drive like them.

    Having said that, if you return to read this comment, although I suspect you won’t, you should at least leave a little love, or perhaps a biting criticism. Something other than a link to a defensive driving course.

    For example:

    “Did you know belting songs out in cars puts you at a 56% higher risk for an accident? Turn down the tunes, dude and check out my defensive driving courses!”

    Like that, John. Be sneaky! Be clever! At least masquerade as a thoughtful commenter.

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