Meet my new wheels. She’s a real Bianchi.
Light as a feather and the color of a robin’s egg, my Bianchi came from Salvation Army. She’s got pizza-cutter tires and handlebars shaped like my pug’s tail.
When I wedged her into the front seat of my Honda Civic, she contorted into a kind of fetal position, which made me think perhaps Bianchi was scared or sad, having just been pulled abruptly from the bike pile at a tidy Salvation Army store on 4th Street in St. Petersburg.
She’s a 23-year-old Italian with a stubborn saddle, caged pedals, soft tires and a nervous tick. I think her rear break might be chaffing against the rim, but with the proper tools and gentle touch she’ll be prime for riding long distances.
I hadn’t intended to get a 1986 Italian racing bike. My sister Heelya and best friend Ro are visiting next week and I wanted a third bicycle so we could pedal the Pinellas Trail together. I’ve been eyeing a tricked-out mountain bike for a month now and was fixing to shell out $500 for a better (and I mean way better) bike than the one I pedal now, but today’s little lesson in negotiation and good will has prompted me to forgo a new model in favor of a more seasoned cougar.
I pulled into Salvation Army today with two $20 bills in my wallet, feeling good about myself, my friends and the world. I’m on a new cash-only budget thanks to $3,000 in fraudulent charges at a Panama stereo store. My debit card number was stolen last week (perhaps in cyberspace) and when the bank told me I’d have have to wait a week for my new card, I decided now was as good a time as any to pay homage to my parents by paying for everything in cash.
Peering into the back stockroom at G.W., I asked one of the employees if there were any decent bikes for sale. One guy perked up and said, “Sure. We got a Tour de France bike out front.”
I figured he was pulling my chain, (bike pun!) but as I followed him out front to the parking lot where the robin egg blue Bianchi was parked, the vintage bike stuck out like Christie Brinkley …
… in a sea of Tonya Hardings.
“It suits you,” the guy said.
“I’ll take it,” I replied, not knowing how much it would cost, but assuming not much.
So I wheeled it into the store and up to the counter, where an employee with a name tag that said JAYME asked, “You buying that bike?”
“Yup,” I said.
“Do you know how much it costs?” He asked incredulously.
“Um. No. How much does it cost?”
“Fifty bucks,” he said.
Before I could even get a word out, the man in line behind me said, “No way is that bike worth fifty bucks. Man, you’re rippin’ the girl off. Give it to her for 25.”
A woman standing in line behind the man chimed in:
“Fifty dollars! She’s gonna have to put new tires on that bike!”
“It’s an expensive racing bike,” the Salvation Army clerk snapped.
“It was an expensive bike,” scoffed the man behind me. “Man, that thing is old! Being that she’s a girl, she’s gonna have to pay someone to fix those tires.”
Slightly embarrassed by the attention I had drawn, but thrilled by its sitcom appeal, I quietly said to the clerk, “It’s OK. I came here thinking I’d get a deal. No biggie.”
Upon further inspection of the name tag, I noticed that JAYME was the store manager and as I turned to push the Bianchi back to the bike pile, Jayme sighed and said, “Alright. $35 and that’s as low as I’ll go.”
Forking over my money, I nodded at the male chauvinist behind me, grateful for his cojones. Although I don’t usually take kindly to being treated like a damsel, in this case I curtsied, grabbed my bicycle and headed home.
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This isn’t my first love affair with a 1980s bicycle. I was once infatuated with a clunker 10-speed named Ross. For more on that torrid romance click here.
Pretty sweet deal for a 23 yr old sexy, seasoned Italian cougar.Work on removing the nervous tick and the chaffing might go away, making her saddle a little less stubborn. As for the caged pedals..I won’t even go there. 😉 Enjoy the ride!
I’m TOTALLY taking this thing for a spin when I come in town in a couple weeks.. k?
I just love your blogs!!! I also love the pug featured in many of your photos!! Tanya Harding looks quite different from her Olympic Days.
Liana
When I first got to your blog today I skimmed it before reading it. I was secretly hoping you possibly bought a used bike off of Tonya Harding somehow. Like she was working at the Goodwill store or something.
Can you buy a giant basket and put the dog in the front while you ride your Bianchi around town? You could buy those cute little pilot goggles for him too!!!
P.S. I added you to Twitter today. So we can be twitter friends.
I love the color…now all you need is to oil her up and try and get a spot in the ‘Tour de France’ so that she may relive her glory days!
I walked Bianchi to the bike shop this morning. I tried to pump up her tires last night and accidentally let all the air out. I need a valve stem adapter for my pump. Regardless, Bianchi’s tires are dry-rotting. She needs new tubes and a proper tune-up. She’ll be out of commission ’til Tuesday.
The woman at the bike shop told me her color is “Celeste.” It’s apparently the company’s trademark color. What a saucy Bianchi.
I’m getting her handlebars re-wrapped too. Get this – in pink. PINK! I couldn’t shake the image of Bianchi with wicked pink handlebars.
Sara: I’m following you in the Twittersphere too. I’m not very good at Twittering or Tweeting or #ing and @ing. If I saw a pug in riding goggles I’d pee my pants. They sell SWIMMING goggles for dogs at the pet shop up the road. If I were to start carting tubby around St. Pete, I’d definitely make him wear eye protection. Pug eyes are very sensitive. Mothership’s pug got a hole in his cornea due to her excessive use of aerosol hairspray.
Liana! Welcome to Lance! Thank you for reading. Yes, good ‘ol Tonya … she’s what some men I know call, “rode hard and put away wet.”
Ricci: Bianchi has devilish caged pedals. Considering you tripped over my hammock in the backyard at the cottage, I’m concerned for your safety. Mothership won’t go near a bike with caged pedals. 🙂
Why the fuss over caged petals? I have clips on Pizza (my bike) and they’re awesome. The cage makes it more effecient to peddle that’s all.
off to pack my bicycle shorts…..!
I loved this entire story.
And I laughed… I laughed SO HARD… at that picture of Tonya Harding. I wasn’t expecting it and it was a nice little treat!
Mirella: That’s the first time anyone has said that about a Tanya Harding photo in quite some time.
Rose: Pizza? Your bike is Pizza? That’s hilarious, and I’m not even sure why.
She’s a beauty. So are you gonna name her?
I’m going to name her …
Bianchi.
What a pretty bike! I love the color and I love the history of it even more! And you can’t beat $35.00. Nice job!
Posts like this really make me miss biking. SIGH.
What a lovely bike; I hope it’s enjoyed!
when did tanya get so fugly?
This is a great blog! I’m a big fan of while my boyfriend w ass leeping!!!
It’s been awhile, so I just thought I’d drop in. I hope everything is going alright with you, the pug, the bike, oh, and Joe.
Your blog is really great-I didn’t even recognize tanya harding..love your pug-thanks for all the useful info….you are very funny
hey – like Sarah I’m coming by to check on you. You doing okay? Just taking a break? Busy traveling the world? Whatever it is, I hope it’s fun! Just know you’re missed…
I’m here. I’m here! I was on an Internet hiatus for a bit. Heelya and Ro were out visiting me and between keeping work straight and having a freaking blast with my girls, I’ve had no time to Lance.
Oh! And I celebrated my 27th birthday.
Thank you ladies for checking in on me! I’ve got numerous posts brewing. Just gotta sit outside with a cup of Timmy Ho’s and write.
oh good, glad you’re up and about and happy birthday by the way! Ahhh… 27. It’s a great age, enjoy it!
Please write something and post it to the Lance. Your many readers (including me) miss you!
Happy belated birthday! I came on to leave a message because I was worried maybe there was some sort of mishap on the new bike…perhaps a bit too wild for the inexperienced being a bonafid race-bike and all!
Looking forward to some new posts in the near future!