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While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping

What I write after Joe and Henry go to bed

Fan mail

April 29, 2009 by heidi 14 Comments

Dear Heelya’s students,

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to return your letters. They’ve sat in a pile on my kitchen table for days now.

I’ve read them and re-read them so many times while eating my morning cereal that I’ve memorized many of your sentiments.

Per your request, I’m posting your last correspondences on my Lance. Per your teacher’s request, I wont use your names.

(FYI: I’m pen-pals with my sister’s students in Buffalo. They’re elementary school kids and I love getting letters from them. They like to ask me about the pug, the weather, Joe and random things like: Do you drool? Do you like people in your town? Do you like snakes? Or, do you eat Snickers bars? I like to nickname them and ask them how they spend their weekends. Sometimes I draw them maps of Florida and explain where poisonous snakes lurk. One time I drew them a map of my living room with an arrow identifying where Joe usually sits on the couch and where the pug sleeps next him. Sometimes Joe writes to them. Sometimes I send them newspaper stories I’ve written or pictures I’ve taken. I like to tell them stories about Ro and I, because Ro is the speech pathologist at their school and they’re always blown away by the fact that we know each other. And I always, always tell them to keep writing. Their letters are awesome! They make my heart sing.)
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

Can you come and visit my classroom? I like Spiderman soo much!
Me and my brother went to Disney on Ice. My mom didn’t go.
October the 12th is my birthday and then comes Halloween. My hair looks crazy today. My mom didn’t finish it before school so I took it out and shook it. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Are you glad about your mom? Do you like the people in your town? I like the people in my town.
I can’t wait to hear back from you!

Love,
@#!!@&*$
—

Hi Ms. Kurpiela!

I like your dog Cubbie. Yes, I am a clean person. Every day I wear a button up shirt tucked in. I have boots and dress pants. I get in the tub every day, sometimes in the morning. Sometimes at night.
I got new glasses! They are tinted blue. Do you have glasses?
What do you do for fun?
I like to play PlayStation 2. My dad has PlayStation 3. My sister has a Wii. My brother has a silver PlayStation 2 like me. It is so much fun playing it!
We’re growing beans in the classroom, but mine didn’t grow. Everyone else has beans that are growing besides me.

See ya later, alligator.
@#!!@&*$
—

Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

I am a new student in Ms. Kurpiela’s class.
Do you have any dogs? I have a dog. She is a Beagle and is 10 years old.
My sister likes monkeys.
How are you doing today? Do you work?
I love cars.
I am Native American.
I listen to drum CDs and my favorite artist is Johnny Cash. My favorite Johnny Cash song is “When You Get the Blues.”
Who is your favorite artist?
I am 7 years old. How old are you?
What is the weather like in Florida during the winter?
Today in Buffalo it is seven degrees! It is freezing!
Nice to meet you.

Your friend,
@#!!@&*$
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

How are you? I am doing good.
I went to a Build A Bear workshop. I made a brown bear. I love him. His name is Chocolate. He has a red bow tie and a book. We got lots of snow yesterday. I like to stay inside when it snows so I don’t get cold.
How is Joe and your dog?
You should come visit sometime at school.
Last week I went to Disney on Ice. I saw Mickey, the Ducky, Aladdin, the mermaid, Woody and Buzz and the Chipmunks.
I had pretzels, popcorn and a drink. It was yummy!

Love,
@#!!@&*$
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

I like to say hi to parents, not teachers, that say good morning.
I’m looking at a Monster Inc. Book. Could you send me a Hero coloring sheet?
Do you ever take kids to a playground?
I went to a zoo and the elephants weren’t there. I wanted to see if they were falling in the water.
I saw a book about skating at my house and I hope we go soon.

Good day,
@#!!@&*$
—

Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

I like to ride my bike too. I have a big blue and red bike. I ride it really fast, but stay out of the street.
I am in a new class. Write me back still.
Do you watch TV a lot?
My favorite show is SpongeBob. I hope to hear from you soon!

From,
@#!!@&*$
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

I am a new student. I like my new school and my teachers too.
My favorite subject is math. It’s my favorite because I am really good at it.
I am good at drawing too!
When I am not in school I like to play in the park. It is sooo fun!
One of my favorite things to do is play Hide and Go Seek and run around.
My best friend is nice and I like her a lot.
I have seven sisters and brothers. They are really cool!
I like Keyshia Cole! I can sing some of her songs.
It is really nice to meet you. I can’t wait to get a letter back.

Love,
@#!!@&*$
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

Your job is cool!
There is drool on the floor.

From,
@#!!@&*$
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

What did you have to eat yesterday?
Do you like snakes?
Are you sad?

Love,
@#!!@&*$
—
Dear Ms. Kurpiela,

Do you have a pool?
I like school.
I do not like tools.
I do not like drool.
I am cool.

Bye,
@#!!@&*$
—

Filed Under: Buffalo, drool, florida, Heelya, humanity, Johnny Cash, Keyshia Cole, kiddos, pen pals, pugs, Ro, snakes, St. Petersburg

Comments

  1. ModernMommy says

    April 29, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    My favorite is the boy who’s beans won’t grow.
    I hope Eva says she is a Johnny Cash fan when she is 7! How cool is that kid?

  2. ModernMommy says

    April 29, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    Is it weird that I am having fun psychoanalyzing all these kids based on their letters? Like who will grow up to be an artist, a people-pleaser, comedian, or a librarian.

  3. Holly Kurpiela says

    April 29, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Oh boy! My kids are going to be so shocked to see their letters on the computer! I can’t wait to show them tomorrow! I’m going to have them comment back to you on here.

    Thanks for Lancing on my kiddos! More comments to come…. Love, Holly aka….. Heelya

  4. Robynn's Ravings says

    April 29, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    What a great relationship you all have! And I enjoyed the letters. Kids are great.

    I have a three snakes stories to write. Maybe when I do you can send them one. I think kids their age will love it. It’s really gross. Good stuff. LOL

  5. mirella. says

    April 30, 2009 at 4:17 am

    HAHA oh my gosh, these are so cute!!!

    My absolute favourites (mostly for how random they are):

    “My sister likes monkeys”
    “There is drool on the floor”

  6. Ro says

    April 30, 2009 at 5:45 am

    AHHHHHHHHHh.Heelya told me to look at the Lance, and so I did as the boy with the blue tinted glasses is happily cutting out action word cards at my table! I can’t remember if he told you, but the boy with the beagle who likes Johnny Cash-his dog’s name is Puppy, which makes me giggle all the time.
    There is so much good in our kiddos it is unbelievable! You must come in this August when you are in town!

  7. mothership says

    April 30, 2009 at 6:35 am

    My dear daughter….I LOVE this post…….really really sweet! Those kids are going to be soooooooo excited. Thanks for starting off my morning with a smile. Love ya

  8. Sara says

    April 30, 2009 at 7:22 am

    Can you send me your email? Is that weird? I hope not, because frankly, there has been more than one occasion that I’ve wanted to email you about nothing that has to do with the blog I’m commenting on (like right now). Call me foolish, but the internet has tricked me into feeling like we are real life friends. If you email me at “muffinwench@hotmail.com” I will explain to you why my email says muffinwench.

    : ) thanks.

  9. die Blume says

    May 6, 2009 at 9:29 am

    There is drool on the floor!
    Love it!

  10. Tabitha (From Single to Married) says

    May 6, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    ha! I think the last one is my favorite – got to love one that rhymes!

  11. RO says

    May 9, 2009 at 3:54 am

    ok, me again…just reposting while I am thinking of it. The kids were wondering if you and Joe wanted to come for lunch when you come home in August? I’ll buy the pizza…

  12. C.Flower says

    May 9, 2009 at 7:41 am

    Ro: We’d love to visit the class! We’ll come bearing St. Pete sand and nuggies.

  13. Brandy says

    January 5, 2011 at 11:41 am

    Heidi you take critism well, right? Okay not really critisim, a point out od word misusage. FOr something to be poisonous it must be ingested (i.e: a mushroom), if a toxic material is injected it is venom (i.e.: snakes, spiders, bees, I guess even a Gila Monster or a Komodo Dragon bite can constitute). Just one of those things that make me cringe and I try to enlighten people on, cringe would be the word……… it beyond annoys me in movies. The only way a snake can be poisonous is if it bit itself and then you consumed it.

  14. Brandy says

    January 5, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Duh, on my part…….. I LOVE this particular entry….. I love kids at that age…… thier wonderfully child like ideas and thoughts on the world….. of course the jumping from topic to topic with just the dot at the end of a line of words.

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I'm a journalist who spends my Mondays through Fridays writing other people's stories, a chronic procrastinator who needs structure. I once quit my job to write a book and like most writers, I made up excuses why I couldn't keep at it.

My boyfriend fiancé husband Joe likes to sleep in late on the weekends, but since we have a kid now that happens less than he'd like.

Before Henry and Chip, I used to spend my mornings browsing celebrity tabloid websites while our dog snored under the covers. Now I hide my computer in spots my feral children can't reach because everything I own is now broken, stained or peed on.

I created Lance in an attempt to better spend my free time. I thought it might jump start a second attempt at writing a novel.

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