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While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping

What I write after Joe and Henry go to bed

Bite me, slice me, dice me

May 19, 2009 by heidi 6 Comments

I‘m suffering from a supreme case of writer’s block. 

So what do I do? Well. As always, there’s Lance. 
I come here more than I should whenever I’m stuck on a story; a paying story. It helps me get over uninspired humps. 
Sometimes.
Today I spotted my first big, red tomato hanging off one of two tomato plants I planted three months ago in the front yard.
If anything should inspire me, it should be this. I’ve never grown an edible thing in my life. Well, basil. But that doesn’t count. The pug could grow basil in his food bowl if he slobbered on it every day. 
The tomato plants were my mom and Joe’s idea. There were four big pots in our front yard when we moved into this house, in which the previous owner had planted squatty palms and purple ferns. When we closed on the property, the squatty palms and purple ferns were scorched from too much sun and wilting from too little water, so I pulled them out of the pots and stuck them in the ground, where they are much happier and healthier.
In two pots I planted tomatoes and oregano. In the other two, I planted marigolds and bushy pink flowers. Within a month my bushy pink flowers had tripled in size. And my tomato vines! Ah! I had so many little green buds I felt like Fannie Flagg. The front of my house had suddenly taken on a Better Homes and Gardens look. 
When a storm whipped through the neighborhood last week, I ran out the front door to stake my bent tomato vines to sturdy twigs. After much nurturing, whispering and watering, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my tomatoes. They looked so pathetic in the wind and rain, bent over like a child with a stomachache. I never felt so much like my Oma than when I called for Joe in a panicked yelp, to bring me scissors and string so I could tie my vines.
Now that I’ve got this big red one sort of poking out at me, willing me to pick it, slice it and serve it over mozzarella and balsamic, I’m freaking out. What if it’s too soon? What if it’s too late?
If you know anything about tomatoes, please share your wisdom. I’m a novice vegetable grower, whose new hero is this guy: former Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver. 
Weaver, the 5-foot-7 short-tempered, smack-talking “Earl of Baltimore,” used to grow tomato plants down the left field line in Baltimore’s old Memorial Stadium. He and head groundskeeper Pat Santarone had a contest every summer to see who could grow the biggest, juiciest crop. Rumor has it Santarone once grew a tomato so big it wouldn’t fit in his ball cap. 
According to former first basemen Boog Powell, the mens’ tomatoes were so large, “one slice would way overlap the bread.” And according to Cal Ripken Jr., whose father worked for the Orioles in the 1960s and 1970s, Weaver used to fertilize his giant tomatoes in the Orioles bullpen using horse manure lifted from the Preakness Stakes. 
I wonder if pug manure would have the same effect. 
—
PS. To everyone who donated to my Ride for Roswell: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! In two weeks I raised $675 for the Roswell Park Cancer Institute – $175 OVER my initial fundraising goal. 
PPS. About Saturday’s hair post: the top photo was the $50 haircut. In these trying economic times I suggest patronizing beauty schools. No one will ever know your ‘do cost five bucks. Unless of course you blog about it.

Filed Under: adventures in real estate, Baltimore Orioles, baseball, Cal Ripken Jr., Earl Weaver, Fannie Flagg, gardening, manure, oma, Pat Santarone, procrastination, rain, The Ride for Roswell, tomatoes

Comments

  1. Louise says

    May 19, 2009 at 9:37 am

    For all Orioles fans that interested in getting the latest news, here is a great site of their hot videos:
    http://www.orioleshome.com

  2. Ro says

    May 19, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    That’s it-I’m coming back to Florida for a tomato sammy.

  3. Jane Ellis says

    May 21, 2009 at 5:56 am

    The best way to support your tomato plants is with The Tomato Stake.

    Easier to use than metal cages or upside down planters, stronger than bamboo and won’t rot like wood stakes. The built-in twist-tie supports make tying your tomato plants easy!

  4. C.Flower says

    May 21, 2009 at 6:59 am

    Thank you Jane. I’m thinking about planting rows of these delicious buggers in my front yard. Perhaps I’ll buy a few Tomato Stakes for Joe’s future “sauce” patch.

  5. Laurie B says

    May 30, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    Greetings for the Bettinger Gardens! I'm glad to hear that you are partaking in some gardening fun! It can be frustrating at times, with pests & critters eating your crops & plants & Mother Nature sometimes giving you too much or too little of the good stuff your plants need, but when things go right it gives you the warm fuzzies in your tummy (as I see you've discovered with the taste of your 1st tomater!).
    I recommend going to the library & checking out their gardening book section. Better Homes & Gardens & Reader's Digest always put out good books. We're always consulting ma's Digest book from the late 70's. They have swell sections on how to take care of & handle pretty much every plant you would conceivably have in a garden. There's also sections on identifying pests & how to get rid of them. If you'd like to own one of these gems, I'm willing to bet you can find a good one at a garage sale or on the shelves of your local thrift store (See if your local library ever does book sales too. Sometimes they get rid of their older books, you might luck out!)
    If you kids decide to start growing more things, I'd def look into starting to compost. It's good for plants & for the environment. It's not as difficult or stinky as you'd imagine. We have a good size compost container & the only time you can smell anything if when you take the lid off to add more scraps (& even then the smell is minimal). You can find all kinds of info on composting on the interwebs & probably in the gardening books too. I have a great PDF file from the USDA about composting if you'd like it (send me a message on facebook with your email address & I'll send it on its way! I also have USDA info about pest management, mulching, soil nutrients, etc that I can also share with you). Happy gardening, friend!

  6. jobs in graphic design says

    February 17, 2011 at 11:15 am

    I definitely understand everything you have explained. In fact, I browsed through your various other articles and I believe you are completely correct. Congrats with this particular online site.

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