Razor yearn
About four months ago, maybe longer, Joe ran to CVS for some odds and ends. I didn’t go because I had a headache, which I believe was the primary reason for the late-night CVS run. We were out of Advil. As Joe grabbed his keys and headed for the door, he asked me if I needed anything else from the store.
Tampons?
Chocolate ice cream?
Toothpaste?
“I need a pack of razors,” I said.
Razors? What kind of razors?
“Just a pack of BICs or whatever.”
I never buy expensive razors. Certainly not the kind that come in blister packs and require $18 disposable heads and definitely not the kind Jewel sold her soul to peddle in 2003.
When Joe returned from CVS, not only had he purchased a family-sized bottle of Advil, (the kind one might buy using a Sam’s Club card) he had also purchased a Gillette Venus Breeze 2-in-1 razor with shave gel bars.
Have you guys seen this thing? It looks like an ordinary razor except that the head is cushioned by a sort of slimy gel helmet. Like the razor suffered a concussion and needed head padding.
“What the hell kind of a contraption is this?” I asked.
“You said you needed a razor,” he replied.
“Yeah, not a $20 razor.”
“It’s not a $20 razor. And besides, it came with gel. Now you won’t need to buy it.”
“What, gel? I don’t use gel.”
“Well, now you do.”
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PS. Happy 34th birthday, Joe. While I’ve not been very good at buying replacement heads for my Venus Breeze, I love that you’ve made it an option. Thank you, as always, for broadening my horizons.
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erik actually did R&D on the schick intuition when he interned there in college, so i felt that i had to buy it when it first came out. i think i bought one pack of replacements for it and then tossed it in the trash. i actually kind of like the breeze, but i’m with you…it’s hard to justify spending $18 on the replacement heads.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:53 amas much as the replacement heads suck- nothing gives a smoother shave then the overpriced venus. plus they don’t hack off 7 layers of skin (see PK’s ankle, if you are confused by what i mean)…
Joe sure does spoil you rotten – make sure you put on that cute pouty face when you need replacement heads – and if need be, you can always bring up the “headband” blackmail!?
December 9th, 2009 at 11:23 pmAs someone who shaves EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY of the year without fail, I’ll only shave with a good razor. No cheap bics for me, no sir. I think I’m rockin’ four blades currently. Booyah.
Daily leg shaving is just one more addition to the list of reasons I’m really crazy.
December 10th, 2009 at 1:52 amCarrie: Unfortunately the Venus Breeze chewed a chunk the size of a dime out of my left ankle. I’m afraid us Kurps can’t avoid shaving hackjobs even when we use frou-frou razors with overpriced heads.
AND REB: ASK ERIK WHAT’S UP WITH THE NAMES OF THESE THINGS? Intuition? Embrace? Vibrance? Divine? He worked at Schick. Maybe he can make sense of these humiliatingly patronizing names.
I’m sorry ladies, but the men’s razors work insanely better. Of course they’re branded like nuclear reactors dipped in jet fuel and gun powder, equipped with travel-sized bottles of lighter fluid and matches: FUSION, MACH 3 POWER, MACH 3 TURBO.
How intimidating and manly are these razors? I’m trembling.
December 10th, 2009 at 8:59 amYea Heidi-I used to sneak Tom’s razors because they friggen rock-but now I just openly have my own man’s razor. And you know how I feel about man’s deodorant.
December 10th, 2009 at 10:16 amAren’t you glad you got the thing back from me this Thanksgiving? I had two of them sitting around and both of them tore my legs apart. I decided to stick with the men’s Gillette Fusion. It’s a close, smooth shave. Nothing beats it!
December 10th, 2009 at 6:34 pm-Badeelya
PS-Don’t you love how boys justify things-Tom would justify the 20.00 razor too with a phrase like “treat yourself” or “you’re worth it”
December 10th, 2009 at 7:51 pmOh yes Ro. I just had a conversation last night with Joe about how JUSTIFICATIONS are the devil. He’s the king of rationalizing and we need to stop explaining to ourselves that it’s good to eat chocolate ice cream and NOT ride bikes. Err.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:27 amHow bout we thank these men for rationalizing!!!
December 11th, 2009 at 6:26 pmI’m all for the frou frou razors, the disposable ones cut the heck out of my legs. I usually get them for about a third of the regular cost after coupons and sales.
December 14th, 2009 at 11:51 pmI didn’t know about the men’s razor’s though I’ll have to steal hubbies and check it out.