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While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping

What I write after Joe and Henry go to bed

Happy birthday sister.

April 8, 2010 by heidi 7 Comments


To Holly (otherwise known as Heelya):

Today we are the same age, which used to annoy me when we were kids. I liked being older and Dad knew it, so he used to aggravate me by reminding me of this fact for two days. Two WHOLE torturous days.

“You know, you and Holly are both 10 now.”

“No we’re not.”

“Oh, yes you are.”

“No. I’m older.”

“Nope. Not today and not tomorrow. Today and tomorrow you are the same age.”

This would infuriate me.

When we got older people called us Irish twins, although we’re neither Irish nor twins. We’re just sisters born within 12 months of each other.

After Joe and I called you at midnight to perform our acoustic (and painfully soulful) happy birthday song, you (as usual) said some unintentionally hysterical things, so hysterical and characteristically unscripted I’m certain the details would amuse many Lance readers. However, when I asked you if I could write about them, you hesitated and replied, “Nah. You’ll embarrass me.” And I was cool with that.

But then you sent me a text message at 12:25 a.m. that read: “Ok, u can blog about me, but only if its a birthday blog and doesnt embarrass me too much.”

So I dug up this old photo of us dancing at our 1999 prom. You were a sophomore and I was a junior. I can’t remember what song we were waltzing to, but I do recall we owned the dance floor that night – even though the evening started off on a sour note.

When we arrived at the prom, a female classmate snarled behind my back that I looked like a fat pig in my dress. You don’t even know it, but you saved my life that night. When I think back on my junior prom, I remember crying for 10 minutes in the bathroom and then spending the rest of the night dancing blissfully with you.

Heelya, I’m so proud of you. You bought your first house this week! Anyone who has ever hunted for and purchased a piece of real estate, shares in your joy and frustration. It’ll all be worth it this summer when you’re sitting on your porch, sipping iced tea and reading smutty magazines. Believe me.

You’re an excellent teacher; the best teacher I never had. I get misty-eyed when I read the letters your students write me. Sure, I’m proud of the kids, whom I know are learning disabled and struggle through every word. But I’m also proud of you.

Growing up we were inseparable and now we live too far apart, but I’m not one for drama, so I’ll just leave it at this:

You’re a good sister. I’m lucky to have you. You’re playful and thoughtful. You’re a good cook and an even better grocery shopper. No other Myrtle Beach resident can pull off a pair of fuzzy winter boots like you can. You have good taste in boys. (Ahem, Brian.) You make me laugh every time we talk and I miss you terribly.  I couldn’t possibly embarrass you on your birthday. That’s what the other 364 days of the year are for.

I love you and I’ll see you in two weeks.

Love,

Heidi

—

PS. Question for Mothership: did you stick baby’s breath in our hair for every prom?

Filed Under: adventures in real estate, Dad, dancing with the stars, Heelya, lovey doveyness, Myrtle Beach, North Collins, pen pals, prom, sisterhood, South Carolina

Comments

  1. mothership says

    April 9, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Don’t you two look cute dancing….love the smiles!!!! Speaking of misty-eyed, that’s what this post did to me. I am one lucky mother to have had the pleasure of raising 3 beautiful girls that gave me very little trouble. When asked if I have children and I respond, yes 3 girls..I always hear “oh my god you poor thing, how did you manage to escape sane and with hair still in your head”. I really can’t relate to that remark. I loved every minute of my life being a mother of girls! Poor dad was out numbered…best I could do was buy a male dog to try and even things up a bit.
    About the babies breath in the hair….hmmmmm
    Did I do that for every prom hair do? lol Nahhhh I couldn’t have…..gonna have to dig out some old photos and get back to you on this.

  2. mothership says

    April 9, 2010 at 9:49 am

    babies breath? or baby’s breath lol
    Freudian slip perhaps?

  3. Heelya says

    April 9, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Yes, there was babies breath in our hair for every prom! Lol! Heid, thanks for such a nice blog. You are too sweet. We sure were a team back in the day. We definitely stole the dance floor at every prom. This picture is hysterical of us, Sam’s face says it all! Lol. My mouth kinda looks like I’m a little Special Ed though. A little Corkeyish. Mothership, yes… you did have it pretty sweet with us, we were good little chillin.

    Thanks Heid for saying all those nice things about me. I am pretty amazing. lol. I still love you even though you refer to me as a baby whale (aka Healya Badealya in the deep blue sea.) OOOOOO and guess what we’re both 27 today! Ha! Love you!

  4. RO says

    April 9, 2010 at 10:54 pm

    I love you both 🙂
    that’s all I really need to say

  5. Misty Fallon says

    April 10, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Heidi,
    Who in the HELL said you looked like a fat pig in your prom dress?! Even 10/11 years later(OMG, That long?!) i’d beat some ass for you, and then buy the bi-otch some glasses, as I find it hard to believe that you’ve ever been as fat as a slice of deli ham, let alone a whole pig!
    -Misty

  6. heidi says

    April 11, 2010 at 9:35 am

    Hey Misty: Thank you for the ass-whooping offer. I will not reveal the name of the female classmate as I’m sure she (like all of us who grew up and out of our teenage bully stage) no longer slings insults and gossip at the expense of others. I was no picnic in high school either. I suppose I did and said some pretty mean-spirited things, so I typically don’t hold 10-year-old grudges or dwell on bad memories. (However, as a writer I find these stories fascinating.) I attended three proms. If I cried for 10 minutes at only one, I consider all three a success.

    Oh, and in 11th grade I was a bit bigger than I am now. I definitely wasn’t the size of a slice of deli ham, but more like a thick cut of pre-packaged Oscar Mayer bologna. 🙂

  7. Misty Fallon says

    April 11, 2010 at 10:35 am

    Yeah, Heidi, I know you’re right. But it was a nice thought while it lasted!

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