Well, today I went. It was a follow-up visit to last week’s preliminary new patient visit.
This second visit was much more productive, expensive and saliva-filled. I got a deep cleaning, had three cavities filled and a crown put on what the dentist referred to as tooth no. 13.
Ugh. If I weren’t a writer who appreciated irony, I’d think this was some sort of sick joke.
ANYWAY. The work took four and half hours and cost me $900.
$900 divided by 16 years = $56.25 a year, which is the only consolation I’m comfortable with right now as I slurp noodle soup out a mug and hope like hell that the heat will numb the throbbing on my left side and that the additional freelance work I picked up this month will cover the cost of 16 years of dental avoidance.
The dentist is f#@%ing frightening. No wonder so many people speak ill of it.
By the way, I lied to everyone in the office about how long it’s been since I’ve been to a dentist. I told them my last cleaning was in 2006. I think the dentist, her assistant and the hygienist could tell it had been longer when I had no idea how to handle the spit-sucking tube. Every time it stuck to my tongue I started laughing.
The laughing stopped when the drilling started.
What a god awful experience. And to think I have to go back. I have all four of my wisdom teeth and they’re slowly impacting like colossal glaciers on the move in a too-tiny pond.
PS. My head shot courtesy of Kevin Dooley via Flickr.