19 Aug 2010
Oh, I tried. I really, REALLY tried to grow out my hair. I even announced it, I was so dedicated to growing it out. “I’m GROWING OUT MY HAIR. Just you see. I’ll be wearing ponytails by the end of the summer. I’ll be Rapunzel.” I’ve Lanced about this topic before, in particular my obsession [...]
17 Aug 2010
Last month my friend Tracey sent me this message on Facebook: “As you know I’m pregnant! And some of the dancers and I thought it would be fun to take some maternity photos of me with a tutu and pointe shoes and my belly! I was wondering if you could possibly take these for me [...]
15 Aug 2010
Yes, this post is about Gilbert Gottfried because I couldn’t think of a better follow-up to the previous cockroach post. Joe and I were watching the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff tonight when Gilbert Gottfried came on. Gilbert Gottfried and that voice. That VOICE. I’ve always wondered what Gottfried’s REAL voice sounded like. It [...]
10 Aug 2010
If aliens exist, they look like cockroaches. Trust me. I have a J.Crew catalog in my kitchen that I’ve never opened. Its only purpose has been to kill cockroaches. Never has a catalog filled with overpriced cargo pants been so functional. (Full disclosure: I love J.Crew. I get the catalog because I enjoy the company’s [...]
06 Aug 2010
Let fate decide your din-din. I bet even prissy foodies order greasy takeout. Joe and I are usually too lazy to cook on Fridays. We’re also too lazy to get dolled up and go out to dinner. We’re SO LAZY we can’t even be bothered to CHOOSE what we want for dinner, so THIS is [...]
03 Aug 2010
Those of us in the newspaper business have got a dilemma on our hands. And no it’s not the imminent fall of print journalism. That would be too heavy a topic for this grizzled reporter. My problem lies in the leaning tower of newspapers by my desk; the fact that my livelihood takes up space [...]