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While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping

What I write after Joe and Henry go to bed

From Gate C34

February 3, 2011 by heidi 3 Comments

Five things before I get on this plane to Buffalo:

1. Remember that 10.10.10 footage I shot of my father flying his Cessna for the One Day On Earth documentary film project?

It was accepted! I received an email from the organization earlier this week asking for the raw video files on a memory card. How awesome would it be if it actually made it into the film? My dad would be a star.

2. On a related note, I’ll board my dad’s puddle jumper any day over a commercial airliner.

I don’t care what your opinion is on the matter. Airport security is a racket. A circus. I don’t believe for a second that a fraction of the “precautions” and rules instituted by the Transportation Security Administration are in place to protect us. While standing in the security line this morning, the guy behind me accidentally slapped me in the face with his belt. I’ve never been slapped in the face with a belt before. It stung. He was mortified. I told him it was only a matter of time before I took a belt to the face at the airport. In no other place do hordes of strangers stand shoulder-to-shoulder and strip at a breakneck pace.

And then, after setting my bags on the scanner belt, I was pulled aside and lectured for having packed a small SEALED bottle of juice. I admit, I was pretty sure the bottle wouldn’t get past the TSA screeners, but as a nearly-six-months-pregnant lady, I require nourishment every few hours. A small fruit smoothie is a good way to get it. Plus, it was expensive. I blame my rabble-rouser husband, who when I expressed my concern over having the juice confiscated by airport security, said:  “To hell with airport security. If they take it from you, you tell ’em, ‘I dare you to steal a bottle of juice from a pregnant woman!'”

3. Thanks to the Snowpocalypse 2011, my flight yesterday was canceled.

I’m now minus a day with my family.

4. My mom is throwing me a baby shower this weekend.

I cannot wait to see my aunts, my cousins, their babies, my friends and Uncle Homer The Pug. To welcome our female guests, my mom and I are planning to build a pregnant snow woman in the front yard.

5. If you Google “boyfriend sleeping” The Lance is the 4th hit down!

I’ve not paid for this privilege, nor have I done anything to make my site SEO-friendly. This is simply thanks to you people. The way Google works is the more hits you get, the higher you climb on the Internet search food chain. As I’ve mentioned before, I have no idea how many hits I get. I stopped tracking traffic two years ago.

The words “boyfriend” and “sleeping” are pretty common, eh?

I’m flattered and grateful for your readership.

—

PS. I took the photo inside my dad’s airplane hanger the summer of 2006.

Filed Under: blizzards, Buffalo, Cessnas, Dad, One Day On Earth, southwest airline flights, Western NY

Comments

  1. mothership says

    February 3, 2011 at 11:31 am

    Anxiously awaiting your arrival… My day is getting brighter and my heart warmer …..just a couple of more hours to go….yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

  2. Sara says

    February 3, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Warning – I’m feeling chatty today. I’m going to point form this:

    -I LOVE that photo.
    -fingers crossed for your footage to be in the documentary!! Awesome news.
    -um. I would certainly hope you’d never been slapped in the face with a belt before.
    -I feel as though airport security is a whole-lotta-fancy from a birds eye view….and that’s it. Who’s to say the person in front of me can’t pick up all the stuff from my bin and walk away?
    -Please post pics of the pregnant snowman. Because that is THE BEST IDEA EVER.
    -Did you know that Snowpocalypse buried all of Ontario too EXCEPT where I live? That NEVER happens. We are the one place that is ready and able to handle mass quantities of snow without people have major meltdowns and shutting down every thing in sight – and not even millimeter fell from the sky.

    Okay. I think that’s my thoughts for now. I probably should have written you an email instead. Too late.

    Have a good visit at home!!

  3. Cas says

    February 10, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    Bing puts your old spot with the search “boyfriend sleeping” at #1 – which links you to the new spot, so it still works! So excited for Joe and You, Congratulations again

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