[I pee my pants.] The first time it happened I was appalled. DISGUSTED. I was running my usual three-mile stretch when I sneezed. A healthy cleansing sneeze. I’m one of those people who looks at the sun for two seconds and sneezes. It’s called Photic Sneeze Reflex. And since I live in Florida, I sneeze [...]
[I'm saying no to drugs.] According to the latest labor statistics, 99 percent of women in the United States still give birth in a hospital. This woman, however, ain’t planning to. I’m the one percent. ONE PERCENT! Does this make me crazy? Brave? Foolhardy? Smart? Adventurous? Maybe all of the above. But I’m superstitious and [...]
For those of you who believed in my ability to paint owls … and for those of you who still think I should stick to writing … I give you … Three better owls for the baby cave. If you look closely at the wings, you’ll see words I cut from the original French version [...]
I’m writing this in response to emails I’ve received from first-time expectant mothers. How to avoid becoming Pregzilla: 10 tips to help you keep your wits during nine months of beautiful freakishness.* ….. 1. Don’t stuff your face the second you see a plus sign. I get it. You’re pregnant. You’ve been granted a one-way [...]
Meet Nicole, whose baby girl (Lily) shares the same June 1 due date as my Henry. Nicole is a teacher in Upstate New York. She used to work with my best friend Ro and my sister Heelya. I actually met her for the first time last July at Ro’s wedding in Buffalo. Joe and I [...]
Dear Henry, Up until now, I’ve refrained from writing you a letter on The Lance. I know a lot of blogging mamas do it, but I’m kind of an old-fashioned letter-writer. One day I’ll set you up with a pen-pal and you’ll understand. What’s there to say today? Well, to start: I’m not centering the [...]
[I'm vain.] This confession has been eating at me for some time now. In true-confession style, it fills me with tremendous guilt. It makes me feel weak and superficial. And to those of you who don’t share my neurosis, I apologize. Because in admitting this hang-up I’m letting go of it. Truth is I wasn’t [...]
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