Oh, I tried. I really, REALLY tried to grow out my hair.
I even announced it, I was so dedicated to growing it out.
“I’m GROWING OUT MY HAIR. Just you see. I’ll be wearing ponytails by the end of the summer. I’ll be Rapunzel.”
I’ve Lanced about this topic before, in particular my obsession with Sienna Miller’s blonde crop circa 2005. For years I walked into hair salons with a photo of Sienna. It got so bad I caught my stylist rolling her eyes.
“You want the Sienna. I got it.”
So, I decided to G-R-O-W it out, which I found B-O-R-I-N-G.
This is not to say that I find long hair boring. I find it boring on me and I have no patience for the tedious growing-out process. To those of you with luscious locks, I hold you all in high regard. I admire your ‘do’s the same way I admire people who can sing. I can’t sing and I can’t rock heavenly tresses. I’m fine with that. I look like an Afghan hound with long hair.
The closest thing I got to a ponytail required three bobby pins and a minuscule rubberband typically reserved for braces. I looked like I had a kid’s paintbrush poking out of the back of my head. It was pitiful.
So I asked my stylist to give me something blunt and bang-y. Those who know me know this a slippery slope. I’ll probably have a crew cut by October.
PS. I realize I didn’t get very far, that my hair is still short in this second photo. Nonetheless, every time I looked in the mirror I saw a Hanson brother. Well, back when the Hansons looked like sheep dogs…
PPS. Congratulations to my cousins Erik and Reb on the birth of their first son, Brendan. You must see his birthday cake!