Meet Jonathan and Angel.
These two lovebirds are getting married Sept. 12, 2010. I “met” Angel a couple months ago via Lance. She left me a nice comment and mentioned that she too was getting hitched Sept. 12, but exactly one year later. She lives in Seattle and doesn’t remember exactly how she found Lance, only that it was filed in a folder she called, “Miscellaneous Fun Stuff” on her computer desktop. I told her I was beyond flattered and just tickled pink that a random girl on the other side of the country was not only reading Lance, but that the website was filed in a Miscellaneous Fun Stuff folder and like me, she too was getting married Sept. 12.
So, I decided to ask her 12 questions in honor of our mutual wedding anniversary and post them here on the day of my wedding. I think you’ll quite like her. She’s fiery, fun and honest.
1. Why did you pick Sept. 12, 2010?
We picked Sept. 12 because the venue was not available to us in August, which represented the month we really fell in the love. We also knew that getting married on Labor Day weekend is totally obnoxious. As it turns out, Sept. 12 is Jonathan’s grandma’s birthday, so this is a nice tribute to her since she passed away and Jonathan really misses her.
2. How did Jonathan propose?
There wasn’t so much of a proposal as there was a discussion that spanned several months. It came as a pretty big surprise to Jonathan that he even wanted to get married since he had always been a little bit of a ladies man — and totally stubborn on top of that. He basically equated marriage with losing independence and any kind of freedom since his upbringing wasn’t exactly the stereotypical nuclear family. So being all in love and stuff, he brought it up by talking about how if he were “to ever be married” he would be honored to have me for his wife. And I responded, with great mushiness, “I would be proud to have you for a husband.” And it just kind of went from there. A couple of months later, he asked my parents for permission and they totally made him sweat for a few minutes before saying they were cool with it. This was about 18 months ago. We were going to be married this August, but Jonathan got let go from his construction job, which paid ridiculously well, so we bumped it back a year. Jonathan took a ring that was his Uroma’s (great grandma’s) and we made it into a pendant for me because the ring was just a little too “dainty” for my man-sized hands.
3. How far along are you in the wedding-planning process?
I have found my dress, my first pick of shoes, (not as exciting as yours!) the bridesmaid’s dresses, obviously settled on colors, found several flowers that are seasonal and appropriate and settled on a cake vendor, DJ, venue, and most of the outdoor décor. I have some idea of the tablescapes (aww crap, did I just say tablescape?) and my registry is 90% complete. I have a vision for what Jonathan and the boys will be wearing, we have ideas for our rings, and I have the processional music picked out, as well as the song for our first dance and the dance with my dad. I have also scoped out bartenders and a place to rent chair covers since I hate the ones at the venue. A really good friend is doing all our pictures; he took the one I sent you, and one of my best friends is an executive chef so he’s cooking all the food, along with my brother, who is also a chef. My mom used to be a florist so she’s doing the flowers. It’s my one concession to her and the thing that has me the most stressed. I am trading pictures for the services of a new wedding coordinator in the area and she will work for “free” on the day-of to make sure everything goes the way I want it to without being hassled every 5 minutes with questions. The favors are decided on, but will take some time to create. I have the guest list done, the website 90% done, and the timeline sketched out.
So yeah, I have a lot done, I guess. I warned you that I was obsessive when it came to planning. This is my second marriage and Jonathan’s first. While it is important that everything is the way I want it, it is MORE important to me that the day is as awesome as can be for Jonathan because this is going to be his first and ONLY wedding.
4. Tell me about your first Bridezilla moment. We all have ’em.
I’m not sure if I have technically had a Bridezilla moment. In fact, I really hate that word. It basically conjures images of everything I am trying NOT to be. If there’s anything I’ve been a pain about, it was the engagement party. I totally had a meltdown over the menu I was planning. It didn’t seem to flow for me. I seriously almost simultaneously hyperventilated and wet my pants in abject fear, while trying to resolve it in my head at work. My co-worker and good friend talked me through it on the way home and she gave me great advice: build the menu around a protein. Once I picked salmon (I think she suggested it) everything totally fell into place and I quit freaking out. It was fabulous, too, that salmon. Everyone loved it.
5. What one traditional wedding thing are you straight-up refusing to do?
I refuse to wear a veil. Who are we kidding, people?
6. What one traditional wedding thing have you wholeheartedly embraced?
I surprised the hell out of myself by getting a fairly elaborate dress. I initially went in to find something simple and flow-y and Grecian. And then I realized that when you are 5’10” with giant boobs, that style of dress just makes you look pregnant. When the dress shop owner picked out a dress, I figured I’d try it on to humor her. Turns out it wasn’t even in my size, but when we held it up to me, I just knew that it was the one. She ordered it for me just to try on, and it is perfect. I refused to cry in the store but when I got home and was telling Jonathan that is was beautiful I started to tear up.
7. What’s your favorite wedding scene in a movie?
It’s a toss up. Either the wedding at the end of Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, or the scene in Bride Wars where they beat the crap out of each other. OK seriously, I think it might be from In Her Shoes. I love Toni Collette and Mark Feuerstein, and I love how sweet and personal that ceremony was to the characters.
8. What’s the best wedding advice you’ve received so far?
It’s your day, have fun. And make sure you eat.
9. Do you have a favorite wedding blog?
I don’t have any favorites, really. I just sort of bounce around “stealing” ideas. When I stumbled on to Lance via another wedding article I was thrilled that there was another girl who couldn’t believe that the wedding virus, which can lie dormant for many years, had caught up with her too. I use The Knot a lot, because there is occasionally useful information and stories that make me laugh — and not always “with” people.
10. Have you and Jonathan had any wedding-related arguments?
Oh baby, you betcha! The big and ongoing argument is about changing my name. I don’t want to. Done it once, and had to change it back. I’m not super stoked about going through the process again. I like my name. I am super proud to be a Ratliff. I floated the idea of him changing his name, mostly to make a point. He merged our last names to Cartliff (Carter-Ratliff), which we love, but he isn’t exactly sold on changing his name, either. His thing is explaining to people “why” I wouldn’t change my name. I could give a monkey doodle about what other people care about. It’s not about them. I will win in the end. I have every confidence in this.
11. We’ve talked about how girlie-ness creeps up on you when there’s an engagement ring on your finger, have you noticed a significant metamorphosis from Angel-the-rational-girlfriend to Angel-the-overly emotional-fiancé? If so, do explain.
The best example of this was when I had a huge fight with my mom over something not even wedding-related. I wasn’t going to bend and I was sure she was never going to talk to me again and that she wouldn’t come to the wedding, blah blah blah. (Insert dramatic scene here.) When I mentioned to Jonathan that we should just go to Vegas and forget about the whole ceremony, he said, “We can do whatever you want,” which is the wrong answer as I am sure you and every woman know.
I started crying because I wouldn’t be able to wear my pretty dress in Vegas because it just ISN’T a Vegas dress, and how I loved my pretty, pretty dress, and how it needs an aisle and a garden to walk through. Now imagine saying all of that through tears, a snotty nose and big, blubbering sobs. Super attractive. It’s a testament to our love that Jonathan didn’t run right then and there. The damn dress hooked me. I would be saving a shit-ton of money if I had never put on that magical creation.
12. What’s the one thing you want people to take away from your wedding?
That we are a great couple and the day absolutely suited us.