It’s been 11 months since I interviewed my surly sister PK, which is a unfortunate, because many things have happened in little PK’s life since December. One: she got a new job in St. Petersburg closer to me and Joe. Two: Last month she moved into a very tropical apartment complex with vaulted ceilings and granite countertops only five miles up the road from me.
On the ONE day we had 50-degree temperatures, PK and I carved pumpkins and soaked in her apartment hot tub. Since nearly a year has passed since we last heard from the 23-year-old minx, I decided to bring along my tape recorder and fire off a few questions in the rub-a-dub-tub.
However, tape recorders, as every journalist knows, cannot be trusted. In the middle of my conversation with PK the damn thing quit, which is why, in 1999, I stopped bringing tape recorders to interviews.
Anyway. Here’s what remains of the Q&A…
Lance: OK, so tell me where we are right now.
PK: We’re in the hot tub at my new place.
L: Where’s your new place?
P: In St. Pete.
L: How would you describe this place?
P: I feel a bit like I’m on vacation.
L: Your apartment complex does have a certain resort-quality feel.
P: Like I’m in Key West sort of.
L: Why, because it’s got palm trees and recessed lights?
P: I think because everything is wooden. It just reeks of Key West.
L: Whatever you say. So, your new apartment is on the third floor of this resort?
P: Yes. Joe will testify to that.
L: Because he helped you move?
P: Yes. He moved me up three flights of stairs. I thought he was on the verge of a heart attack.
L: Did you know he was so powerful?
P: No. He’s like a bull.
L: That’s what I always say! Would you pick another apartment on the third floor if you had to do it again?
P: If it meant vaulted ceilings, I probably would.
L: The vaulted ceiling does make your apartment seem bigass.
P: It really does.
L: So how do you like living in St. Pete compared to Sarasota?
P: Well, it’s definitely different. It has a different feel. I think I found my class of people here. There’s definitely a lot of younger people here who aren’t all suave. They don’t have their pink button-down shirts and Eddie Bauer jeans on.
L: Eddie Bauer?
P: Yeah, Eddie Bauer jeans. Don’t people wear those?
L: Yeah in 1992. Rich people in Sarasota probably wear Diesel jeans.
P: Diesel, yes!
L: So, if Sarasota is Diesel jeans, then St. Pete is…
P: Levi’s.
L: I like that. I can live with that. The price-point difference between the two cities is a $60 pair of jeans versus a $150 pair of jeans.
P: Yes.
L: Tell me about your new job.
P: I work for the Greek Gods.
L: You do now?
P: I work at a Greek school. It’s Heaven actually.
L: Why because they feed you Greek bread throughout the day?
P: I get Greek bread three times a week. It’s blessed bread.
—- the tape recorder inexplicably shuts off —-
L: Still no man in your life?
P: I’m in love with the school janitor.
L: You are?
P: Yes. I got a stain on my A-B-C carpet the other day. It’s the carpet I use to tell my stories on and I was complaining to the janitor about how one of my kids spilled their Hi-C on it and he said, “Don’t worry. I will take care of it.” And then he rolled it up, took it outside and scrubbed the fruit punch out of it.
L: Can you tell it was stained?
P: No.
L: Wow, what a man!
P: I told him I could take him home and use him a lot.
L: Do you think he took that the wrong way?
P: What way?
Moving PK in was no big deal, really. I did not almost die. (Well, ok, for two minutes after we got the couch upstairs.) However, I don’t think that should prevent PK from renting upper-floor apartments in the future.
She should just be sure to hire professional movers.
OK you guys have 42 days left to get an elevator or escalator installed at Pam’s complex. If this is not possible, please brush up on your CPR skills we just may need them. Also….NICE jeans! Do I need to travel to Sarasota to get me a pair of those sled ass, leather leg insert MOM jeans. Please tell me those are NOT back in style.
One other thing, could you ask Pam to make a request to her greek gods for some gluten-free blessed bread. LOL
aaaah! i have eddie bauer jeans in my closet! how embarrassing….
Ha Reb! That’s OK. I’m still rocking a pair of Arizona cutoff shorts from 7th grade. Actually, your response made me laugh out loud. I just had to page through the Eddie Bauer site and check out the goods. Their jeans aren’t bad, except for this one. This one had me peeing my pants. 🙂
Eddie Bauer Loose Fit
Those Loose Fit pants are FUPA-equipt!
Order a pair now and get FREE SHIPPING and GUARANTEED Christmas delivery!
Hey don’t knock those Eddie Bauer jeans, I just got rid of a pair. Bought me some Lee Riders (stretch) made for old farts like me. Well they are comfy and I love them. Didn’t cost me $50.00 either.
Is that Greek Bread anything like Jewish rye, Papa loves Jew bread. Check this out with PK. love U
Nana, the “Jew Bread” had me crackin up! Heid, I still have that tape recorder and all the tapes saved from all your Eden Town Board meetings. I found it the other day. I can’t wait for you girls to visit for Thanksgiving. Olive is anxious to meet you! Love you, miss you! ~Heelya
P.s. when do I get an interview?
Heelya: I’ll interview you over Thanksgiving.
LOL!!! She only gives interviews when she’s in the bushes!!
she sounds like a cutie and like she’s got your sense of humor too!
“P: I told him I could take him home and use him a lot.
L: Do you think he took that the wrong way?
P: What way?”
— oh how naive my georgie is – it cracks me up! 🙂
Thanks for the smile – I miss her!
ah, i just checked and no eddie bauer jeans in my closet….i think i got rid of them a few years ago. knowing my fashion sense, though, they were probably the ones you linked to. 😀