• Motherhood
  • Love & Marriage
  • Roots
  • Writing
  • Best of Lance
  • Pregnancy
  • Photography

While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping

What I write after Joe and Henry go to bed

Pregnancy Confession No. 5

March 17, 2011 by heidi 10 Comments

[I want beer.]

This does not mean I've had a beer.
It just means I want one.

Or two.

I want the bubbles.
The foamy head.
The cool carbonation sliding down my throat.
The bottle sweating in my hand.

The buzz.

The subtle clinkety clink of the bottle hitting my wedding ring.
The white vapor tickling my nose

A fine mist
rising from the bottle neck
like a genie
granting me a wish the second I crack the cap.

The way one sip brings me home.
To my roots.

My beer drinkin
campfire sittin
motorcycle ridin
muddy
country
dandelion roots.

I was chatting with a fellow preggo the other day
and she mentioned that there's a bar in downtown Sarasota
that serves delicious non-alcoholic beer.

Clausthaler.
It's a German brew. (Like me.)

"You walk in with your belly and I promise you,
they'll hook you up," she said.
"The bartender loves pregnant ladies."

---

PS. Happy St. Patrick's Pug-trick's Day.
Guess where I'm going Saturday?

Filed Under: beer, favorite things, homesickness, motorcycles, pregnancy, pregnancy confessions, sacrifice, Sarasota, Western NY

Comments

  1. Joe Bardi says

    March 17, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Say the word and I’ll pick up some O’douls on the way home from work. Party like George W. Bush after 40!

  2. Leslie says

    March 17, 2011 at 6:05 am

    Yes! I enjoyed a few non alcoholic beers during my pregnancy too, and Clausthaler is a tasty one! Enjoy!!

  3. mothership says

    March 17, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Hope you get that brew you are craving. I don’t really like beer all that much … but after reading this post and your refreshing description …I think I’ll have me a Molson later and if a genie appears I may have to drink a beer or two a day from here on out…Let the party begin!!!!! Happy St. Patty’s Day my lil german brew Mama!

  4. Megan Biram says

    March 17, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    You know, having a beer while breastfeeding helps with your milk-flow. Seriously.

  5. Mirella says

    March 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    “The bartender loves pregnant ladies.”

    This may be the best sentence I’ve read all year.

  6. mothership says

    March 17, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    May I put in my request for your next post? How about Cubbie all decked out in his finest, strutting his stuff at the PUG PARADE!!!!!!!! Wish I was joining you and spending Saturday morning surrounded by lots & lots of smoochie faces.

  7. Addie Broyles says

    March 18, 2011 at 10:15 am

    I know we’re in uptight America and all, but if you really want a beer, a few ounces of the fizzy delight that you so gloriously described is not out of the question!

    I’m not talking about the non-alcoholic kind, either. A few ounces of a fine wine or a favorite beer, if you’re craving it, is not going to hurt the baby.

    From a Feminist Kitchen post last summer (http://thefeministkitchen.com/2010/06/20/in-a-pregnancy-is-full-of-nos-a-little-wine-wont-hurt/): The psychological impact (which we all know manifests itself physically at some point) on pregnant women who spend almost a year in a near constant state of denial can be more dangerous than half a pint of really good beer at the end of a workweek.

    Have a great weekend!

  8. heidi says

    March 20, 2011 at 8:33 am

    FYI Lance-alots: Addie’s post is a great read. 🙂

  9. Michelle says

    March 22, 2011 at 4:54 am

    Great post- too funny.

    x
    Michelle
    http://www.michellesstylefile.blogspot.com

  10. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com says

    March 22, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    LOL! I think a few sips or even a drink here and there is probably fine. I didn’t drink while pregnant or breastfeeding – but then again I didn’t drink before either. I never really liked alcohol. But if I had, I mean, c’mon, I saw pregnant women in France nursing wine all the time. A beer here and there can’t be any worse than that!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Why do I even blogger?

If you really want to know why I continue to write here, read this post.

Lance lately

  • Old School Values
  • Land of Hives and Honey
  • The Happy Camper
  • Truth Bombs with Henry [No. 2]
  • Truth Bombs with Henry [No. 1]
  • By now I’d have two kids

Social commentary

  • Crystal on Pug worries, or what to do when your dog starts having seizures
  • heidi on Land of Hives and Honey
  • Roberta Kendall on Land of Hives and Honey
  • Jane on Pug worries, or what to do when your dog starts having seizures
  • reb on The Happy Camper

Back in the day

  • December 2017 (1)
  • September 2017 (1)
  • May 2017 (1)
  • June 2015 (2)
  • May 2015 (1)
  • February 2015 (1)
  • September 2014 (1)
  • February 2014 (1)
  • January 2014 (1)
  • December 2013 (6)
  • November 2013 (3)
  • October 2013 (5)
  • September 2013 (7)
  • August 2013 (2)
  • July 2013 (3)
  • June 2013 (2)
  • May 2013 (5)
  • April 2013 (2)
  • March 2013 (6)
  • February 2013 (6)
  • January 2013 (4)
  • December 2012 (1)
  • November 2012 (3)
  • October 2012 (3)
  • September 2012 (3)
  • August 2012 (5)
  • June 2012 (5)
  • May 2012 (1)
  • April 2012 (4)
  • March 2012 (5)
  • February 2012 (6)
  • January 2012 (3)
  • December 2011 (1)
  • November 2011 (2)
  • October 2011 (6)
  • September 2011 (6)
  • August 2011 (5)
  • July 2011 (3)
  • June 2011 (4)
  • May 2011 (7)
  • April 2011 (7)
  • March 2011 (6)
  • February 2011 (6)
  • January 2011 (5)
  • December 2010 (7)
  • November 2010 (4)
  • October 2010 (4)
  • September 2010 (11)
  • August 2010 (6)
  • July 2010 (4)
  • June 2010 (6)
  • May 2010 (7)
  • April 2010 (8)
  • March 2010 (5)
  • February 2010 (6)
  • January 2010 (6)
  • December 2009 (10)
  • November 2009 (6)
  • October 2009 (8)
  • September 2009 (4)
  • August 2009 (4)
  • July 2009 (8)
  • June 2009 (8)
  • May 2009 (11)
  • April 2009 (5)
  • March 2009 (14)
  • February 2009 (7)
  • January 2009 (6)
  • December 2008 (3)
  • November 2008 (3)
  • October 2008 (3)
  • September 2008 (5)
  • August 2008 (11)
  • July 2008 (10)
  • June 2008 (13)
  • May 2008 (9)
  • April 2008 (4)

Oddities

Reading material

Wild by Cheryl Strayed Travels with Charley Home Game bossypants just kids the time travelers wife Boys Life The-Liars-Club My Uncle Oswald Stephen King On Writing

Me.

Heidi K

Joe.

Joe on guitar

Henry.

henry as werewolf

Chip.

Chippy in a cupboard

Buzzy.

Buzzy

Why Lance?

This blog is named after my old friend Sarah's manifestation of a dreamy Wyoming cowboy named Lance, because the word blog sounds like something that comes out of a person's nose.

About me

I'm a journalist who spends my Mondays through Fridays writing other people's stories, a chronic procrastinator who needs structure. I once quit my job to write a book and like most writers, I made up excuses why I couldn't keep at it.

My boyfriend fiancé husband Joe likes to sleep in late on the weekends, but since we have a kid now that happens less than he'd like.

Before Henry and Chip, I used to spend my mornings browsing celebrity tabloid websites while our dog snored under the covers. Now I hide my computer in spots my feral children can't reach because everything I own is now broken, stained or peed on.

I created Lance in an attempt to better spend my free time. I thought it might jump start a second attempt at writing a novel.

It hasn't. And my free time is gone.

But I'm still here writing.

I'm 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 and I've yet to get caught up in something else, which is kind of a big deal for a chronic procrastinator.

How I met Joe

If you're new here and looking for nirvana, read this post.

And if that’s not enough…

heidikurpiela.com

Join the fan club

Subscribe

Copyright © 2022 · Magazine Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in